Looking Out My Front Door and the Risks and Blessings of Neighbors

Looking out my front door

I have to confess that Dan and I have failed to do one of the recommended things during this coronavirus pandemic. While we have stringently observed social distancing, only going out to buy needed groceries, and washing hands scrupulously, we have invited our downstairs neighbor, Michael, up a couple of times.

I do it with a great deal of trepidation. But he is 71, retired, and social distances himself as much as we do. Like us, he's been careful to only go out for grocery shopping. Indeed, he goes out only once a week, less than Dan has gone shopping (though Dan's consolidated and reduced his outdoor foraging too). The thing is our neighbor lives alone.

We all, along with one other neighbor, an 85 year old widow, Shirley, used to go out to dinner every Friday night and then come back to our house to watch Rachel Maddow and Bill Maher. Those were some of my favorite times, being with these dear neighbors we've known for over 30 years.

Our last dinner out was in early March as the true seriousness was starting to hit. Indeed, we went to a popular spot in Fairfax City, a place where you usually need reservations on a crowded Friday night. Keeping a safe social distance was not a problem this night, though. There were only three other tables there. The staff catered to us.

The following week, after we'd all already been housebound the entire time. We ordered a pizza from Villa Bella, in Burke, where they did curbside delivery. We brought it home and invited our neighbors. Shirley declined but Michael came over. It was the last Bill Maher appearance for a couple of weeks as he announced he would take a hiatus. And we all parted that night with the unspoken understanding that we too would take a hiatus on our weekly get togethers. That was two weeks ago.

This week, another of our favorites in Burke, Hopsfrog Grille just opened up for curbside business as well. My favorite bartender from there, Josh, called to let us know. We found the menu online and called Michael and Shirley. She again declined, but Michael, who lives alone, eagerly accepted. I can only imagine how hard this self quarantine must be for somebody living alone. At least, Dan and I have each other to talk to and just to have physical proximity. There's a comfort to having a loved one's physical presence in the house, even when you are in separate rooms.

So, Friday night, we ordered from Hopsfrog. I made Michael and me Manhattans, we served some wine, chatted and dined and then retired to the living room to watch Rachel and Bill Maher, back from his hiatus and broadcasting live from his home on his iPhone.

As the number of cases grow, as the risk goes up exponentially, I'm not sure how long we will continue to invite Michael over. It breaks my heart because he's alone. But each person is not just an individual risk. Each person carries the risk of every person he has come in contact with. Even with all of us practicing all the good hygiene, the risks go up. He has to go out. Dan goes out. I stay home more and more, except for brief walks alone. But not only is Michael a greater risk to us each week. We both present a risk to him - indeed a double risk. So, I just don't know.

Today, though, Michael called Dan with a special request. Michael's cat, Frodo, is dying and Michael wanted a last picture of himself with Frodo. Without even stopping to question, Dan grabbed his camera to go down to Michael's condo to take the photo. Risky?

Yes. As I said, every contact outside your immediate home is a big risk. But sometimes human kindness and basic decency demand a calculated risk. I hope we are not behaving irresponsibly. We all of us are limiting social contact outside the home, washing our hands, donning masks and gloves, and doing all the other things recommended. And we are only seeing the person in the apartment directly under us.

Meanwhile, a lady Dan and I work with (she used to be Dan's office manager before she got promoted and Dan got me to do that work), offered us some cloth masks. Her mother and some others are making them for nurses and she offered us about four. Dan and I will take two (and launder them after each use) and give the remaining two to Michael and Shirley.

Later today, when Dan was out walking, he ran into another neighbor who told him that she'd made a Costco run. She got lots of paper towels, something we were beginning to run low on and hadn't seen on store shelves for a while. She promptly brought Dan out two big mega rolls.

Neighbors. They are a blessing. In all times but especially now.